I have known the odd philistine to favour ketchup rather than HP

Jun 23 2005 By Peter Jackson, The Journal

There is a motif running through the news at the moment, which could take on the significance of `Bad Wolf' in the recent Dr Who series.

I am referring to sauce.

First we had the case of the secretary and the ketchup-stained trousers.

This was where an exchange of emails between an executive and a secretary at London law firm over a £4 dry cleaning bill made its way around rival firms and then the national press.

The executive implied the secretary had spilt tomato ketchup on his trousers and asked her to pay.

She replied a week later, apologising for the delay and saying her mother's death had been a "more pressing issue".

Then, if that was not sufficient to embarrass the man, she added that she had mentioned it to other partners and employees in the firm who had offered a whip round.

Hardly had I digested that, when I read that US food giant Heinz had bought HP Foods, maker of that British culinary icon HP Sauce in a £470m deal.

I only hope Heinz realise what a responsibility they also take on and that HP is not a brand to be trifled with.

Indeed, its very name derives from one of the pillars of our constitution, The original recipe was invented a little over a century ago by a Nottingham grocer called FG Garton, who came to call it HP because he heard that a restaurant in the Houses of Parliament had started serving it. He probably wouldn't get away with that now.

Sticking to the parliamentary theme, HP became known as `Wilson's Gravy' in the 1960s and 1970s, when it got out that Prime Minister Harold Wilson liberally covered his food with it.

For years, the wording on the label was in French and English and the comic genius Marty Feldman once sang the French version in the style of Belgian crooner Jacques Brel on a radio broadcast.

Happily Heinz Tomato Ketchup and HP are not rival brands, although I have known the odd philistine to favour ketchup rather than HP on a bacon sandwich.

The other great news item, of course, was French president Jacques Chirac attacking the British EU rebate, while refusing to discuss the Common Agricultural Policy.

And that shows the greatest sauce of all.