Caution! Do not act like a total idiot

Jun 19 2008 by Iain Laing, The Journal

DRIVERS in Cyprus have been warned not to abandon their cars while they are in motion.

Certainly a sound piece of advice, but does it really need to be incorporated in that country’s new road safety code?

It is illustrative of a great paradox of modern society: that as mankind grows ever more distant from his ape ancestors, as his material condition improves and as the benefits of education and reason become ever more widespread, so it seems he is increasingly treated as an idiot.

There are probably two factors at play here. One is that as politicians gain greater ability to exercise power, they cannot resist the opportunity for exercising that power.

Also we have the growing obsession with health and safety, on the one hand, and greed for compensation on the other, by which we seek to cocoon ourselves from any unfortunate consequences.

So, for instance, manufacturers of consumer products seem to regard us not only as children, but as being mentally incapacitated to the point of insanity.

What else could explain this warning: “Caution: the contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish’’, on a bottle of dog shampoo; or, “For external use only’’, on a curling iron; or, “Do not use in the shower’’, on a hair dryer.

Some of these warnings are clearly placed by nervous manufacturers wary of an increasingly litigious public who feel, with ‘no win no fee’ offers from lawyers, they may as well sue as not.

So we have: “Caution! Contents hot!’’, on a takeaway pizza box; “Caution! Hot beverages are hot’’ on a coffee cup; and “Caution! Shoots rubber bands’’, on a product called Rubber Band Shooter.

Some of these must have been devised by someone taking the micky. Who else could have had printed on the packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body’’? Presumably the same person responsible for: “Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage’’, on a fold-up pram.

But my favourite has to be the warning on a toilet brush: “Do not use orally’’.