Our clients can make a positive choice to resolve matters without going to court.

MARY Shaw, Jane Wilkinson and Jenny Carter of David Gray LLP share their approach to family law and offer advice to those who are experiencing problems within their relationship to make it easier and less stressful ...

Increasingly nowadays, clients are looking for alternative options for resolving the problems of family breakdowns without going to court.

Before we talk about alternatives to court, it is right to say that in some cases we believe court is the only appropriate option. In cases where there is domestic violence or children are at risk, a court may provide the most effective remedy.

For example, a Non-Molestation Order is only available by applying to the court. In some financial cases too, an application to court may be helpful in resolving very urgent issues or uncovering assets that one spouse is trying to hide.

However, in most cases of relationship breakdown, court is best avoided for a number of important reasons. Often clients believe a court will provide the “right” answer to their legal problem ... that there is only one answer which is “fair”.

The reality is that in family cases a court has very wide discretion when making decisions about arrangements for children and finances on divorce.

This means that lawyers can give guidance about possible outcomes in court, but cannot predict with complete accuracy what will be decided. Clients who ask the court to make decisions about their children and finances on divorce therefore face uncertainty.

Added to this is the obvious stress of facing their partner in the formal setting of a court and the prospect of having to give evidence on oath.

After the judge has delivered a decision, one person may come away feeling like they have “won” whilst the other may feel they have “lost”. Battling it out in court can leave lasting resentment which affects the whole family.

Our clients can make a positive choice to resolve matters without going to court, so that they can focus on finding a solution that will work in the long term for their family.

Options include mediation and collaborative family law, as well as the more traditional negotiation by solicitors' letters. Our specialists can advise on mediation, which involves the separating couple meeting with an impartial mediator trained to help them reach agreement.

Usually they will receive legal advice as the mediation progresses. Mediation can cover a wide range of issues including arrangements for children and financial issues arising from divorce and separation.

One or more meetings may be needed, depending how complicated the issues are. Another option is collaborative family law. Clients who choose this will also meet around the table to resolve issues.

Each client has their own specially trained collaborative family lawyer with them in the meetings to give advice and facilitate negotiations.

At the outset both clients and lawyers sign an agreement that they will not go to court.

If either person changes their mind about this, then both clients have to hire fresh lawyers. It is an incentive to keep everyone focused on reaching an agreement and threatening phrases like “see you in court” lose all meaning.

There are many benefits of mediation and collaborative family law. We work with our clients to help them retain control of the outcome rather than handing over to a court to make decisions for them. Our clients will be encouraged to find solutions that both they and their partner can live with, rather than creating a “winner” and a “loser” situation. Throughout the process, the focus is on respectful and conciliatory communication, where both clients are able to say what they, and any children, need.

It is normal for separating couples to experience many difficult emotions. We put our clients in touch with a range of support services, whichever process they use to resolve their issues.

Relate offer numerous counselling options, including individual and couple counselling and services for children.

The Resolution website is another source of useful information, in particular to help separating parents. There are now useful courses for separating parents and their children to help families make the changes they are faced with.

Established for over 30 years and based in Newcastle at the Old County Court, David Gray LLP has specialists covering all aspects of family law including mediation and collaborative family law as well as solicitor negotiation and applications to court.

We help clients maintain as much control as possible over the end result, through discussing the options available and only doing what is agreed with them.

Mary Shaw, Jane Wilkinson and Jenny Carter are collaborative lawyers at David Gray LLP.

David Gray LLP will be opening a new office on February 1 in South Shields offering a full portfolio of services to local businesses and individuals alike. The expansion is an exciting time for the firm and gives further assurance of its commitment to build on its reputation as a leading family law firm in the North East. Call 0191 232 9547.

WE also offer a new service to help separating couples to choose together which option best suits their family.

At a couples information meeting, a couple meet, together, with one of our team to discuss their options in detail, and receive information tailored to their own circumstances.

Starting the process of divorce in this way can be enormously helpful to separating couples in maintaining a good working relationship between them whilst the lawyers do their work.

All of our family team are members of Resolution, the family lawyer’s organisation which commits us to resolving clients’ disputes in a constructive way, whichever option they choose.

Over 90% of cases involving solicitors who are members of Resolution settle without court proceedings.

Our family department is the only one in the region ranked in the top tier in both the Legal 500 and Chambers UK.